My Five Year Old Mind

From the outside looking at my facts, I’m a young twenty-something, college student. Society claims that my priority should be school. Getting a degree will help me in the future to secure a job, add to the system, and benefit my fellow humans. They expect me to stay on top of all my assignments, work when I’m not in class to earn a means of paying for school while gaining experience to add to a resume. Everything I do should be working towards my future where I’m working a steady job and settling down in one place with a family.

Oh but while I’m at it, I should enjoy the college experience because I only get to experience this once. Plug into clubs and join groups with a cause. These will also look good on a resume, they tell me.

All the while, I’m staring back at them with the eyes, heart, and mind of a five year old.

Do you remember being five? Coloring and nap time. The most difficult thing you had to worry about was getting a swing on the playground and having someone push you so you could feel like you were flying.

But as I aged, people were quick to remind me that humans couldn’t fly. As if that was going to stop me. They insisted that I get my head out of the clouds and focus on the important things. The things that would get me somewhere in life. Things that would make sure I didn’t starve. Things that would keep me alive just to keep doing the things that kept me alive.

You see, I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately. Get a job to pay for a roof over your head and a place to sleep so you can be rested for the job that gives you a place to sleep. How many of us actually enjoy all the aspects of the things we have? Or are we all so busy that it all becomes just stuff? Sure, it once had meaning. We had hopes of those craft projects in the corner. But most of us probably come home too tired to really enjoy any of it and just sit our butts on the couch to watch shows we may have even already seen because we’re even too tired for something new.

I don’t want that.

I have the beauty of extra time on my hands because I’m between jobs right now. I also have that mind of a five year old who still questions everything. That annoying kid who just keeps asking why? Yeah, I’m still that kid. And do you want to know why? Because I still don’t get it. Why do we just keep up with a cycle where we don’t have time for the things we actually want to do?

The biggest question I like to ask people is one that challenged me to keep seeking out things in my life. What would you do if money were no object? If you didn’t have to worry about anything financial, what would you be doing? No rent money needed, no bills, no cost for food. No money getting in your way anywhere. Where would you be? What would you be doing?

I ask myself these questions a lot and it keeps me in that five year old mindset. Five year olds haven’t learned yet that money runs the world. Five year olds don’t have anything standing between them and their wildest dreams. Do you remember yours? Your wildest dream? What is it? And why didn’t you go after it?

There’s a new craze sweeping around with people leaving their day jobs, leaving the system, and going out on adventures. They choose a simple life with a lot less excess stuff and hit the road. They travel to lands they used to just see pictures of. They decided that life was just too short to settle into a system. Because for them, the system didn’t work. It didn’t bring them the joy of life. It simply kept them alive to work. And they weren’t okay with that.

They got tired of complaining about Mondays and instead did something crazy where they could rejoice no matter what day it was. They stopped restricting themselves by society’s plans for them. They brought back daydreaming but even more than that, they set out to achieve those dreams.

I’m not yet in a place to get out there and do what I want to do – because unfortunately, money is an object. But I’m working towards it. And I will forever have my sights set on those dreams. And when I achieve those, I’ll set higher ones and keep going.

But when people ridicule me for keeping my mind in that five year old wonder of the world, or getting excited over little things and bouncing around showing everyone, I’m just going to shake my head at them. I refuse to give into anyone else’s idea of what they think my life needs to look like.

I’m a faerie and we don’t give up on our dreams.