Today is very bittersweet for me. November 30 marks the end to NaNoWriMo, a challenge taken on by the most determined and amazing group of writers I have ever met. NaNo has come to mean so much to me in the last five years. But this year, this year I just couldn’t.
School has been kicking my butt this semester and I started falling behind early on due to mental struggles and emotional plight. I’ve been dealing a lot with things that are going on inside of myself that I am struggling to find the words for. I so wanted to jump into NaNo – even part-time! – to get back into the groove of writing and finding ways to express what was going on.
But some days, even making it to class was an accomplishment. I have been more exhausted these last months than I can ever remember. I am tired of being so different that people don’t really know how to help me.
But still I know that I must continue to do things as only I can, or my life gets voided. If I become like the masses, I cease to matter. One big grey blob of similarity and blending in will never be beautiful.
What is beautiful are those who walk their own way. Those who color themselves differently. Those like who I have met because of my years doing NaNo.
I have been so inspired by those I have had the pleasure of writing alongside and those I have learned from. I cherish each and every writer, study partner, accountability partner, and encouraging friend who has ever shared in my journey as I wrote through my novels.
Today, I want to celebrate my fellow writers. Their victories, whether by hitting the 50,000 word mark or just creating a character they love or a perfect scene to be used later. You are my inspiration and though I missed out this year, I will be back with a vengeance next year.
Just Ryn 
Erin, I wish there was a way for a real hug, but distance and life intrude! I wish you success, I feel in my soul you can beat this and capture your dreams! Keep writing, even if just a couple of notes at night. One day you’ll be able to read them and connect all of the spaces and words in between. And I dare say you’ll be stronger for the delay.
I agree with your sentiment – If I become like the masses, I cease to matter. Don’t allow yourself to become that grey blob! You ae a beautiful flower, unique as we all are. Embrace that and live that.
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It has taken me too long to reply, but your words still touch me all the same. It has been a long struggle and there’s still a lot going on, but I can feel myself growing stronger already. Thank you so much for your continued support and encouragement. It means the world to me!
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Just seeing this, reading some interesting things on a couple of sites. Understand lots going on, same here. Keep in touch?
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