I am a creative being spilling over my brim with insights and ideas. I watch when I’m silent instead of speaking words that are just forming on my tongue. I wait for the right moment when a pause comes between their prearranged words. They don’t even notice. Under the surface I’m raging. A storm built up after years of storing the rain waters of my subconscious. I sit quietly, waiting my turn.
They tell me I’m not a match for them. I don’t fit their needs. My schedule doesn’t match or my views are all wrong. They tell me I don’t have enough experience, education, or energy.
But I do.
I’m just different than they are.
Inside we aren’t all the same, as the old saying goes. If we were life would be a breeze. We’d all be fine and dandy and stop to smell the roses, in sync with everyone else.
But different is what we all are and I’m not ashamed of it anymore. You see my differences show me who’s hurting and how I might try to help even though I’ll probably come up short every time. My differences help me create worlds that could inspire the imaginations and encourage everyone no matter where they are in life. But I don’t show them to many.
Because different is something we’re afraid of. “Is it normal” starts too many questions from my old friend’s lips wondering if this thing she loves about herself might cost her some friends along the way. “Is it weird” starts the worry of my friend who thinks she may need a psychiatrist because her views of this world are some she’s never heard from anyone else and she thinks she’s going crazy.
No, I tell them both. No! What you see is magnificent and who you are is beautiful because there is no one else in the world like you and you should be proud of that fact. No, I say, you shouldn’t have to hide the fact that you still love jamming out to High School Musical because it reminds you of the time where they broke free of the status quo and started that spark in you that you could do it to.
No, I tell myself. You are different too and you should be proud of that even though it’s causing you to lose people. No, I try to say, you shouldn’t compromise who you are to be with someone who isn’t going to accept all of that, no matter how many times you need to rediscover yourself. No, I say, wishing I could wrap my arms around myself the way my best friend can, it isn’t you who need to change but everyone else who has ever told you that you needed to be anyone other than who you know yourself to be.
And yes, I do still love you no matter how many times that mirror tells you otherwise. I won’t abandon you because you’re different. I will embrace you and encourage that because that is why I love you.